The Conshert
by Formerly Chilltown
Summary: Pete's childhood dream was to be a famous singer. Will Pete come to be, or will Sora ruin it all for him? PetexKairi


If you must know, I got the idea from my old videos on Youtube called Pete Sings.

xD

* * *

Pete was never cut out for much. He was overweight, unattractive, uncool, and not much of a fighter. One day Pete was shopping in your local Winn-Dixie when all of a sudden he remembered his childhood dream.

"I wanna be a shinger!"

Pete went to the Hollow Bastion recording studio that afternoon. He told them that he had real talent, so they booked him to see if he was cut out for a record deal.

"Okay, let's see what you got," Leon spoke to Pete through the intercom.

"Okay, let'sh shee... I'm gonna shing 'Ruv Train' by dee OJays."

"Don't you mean _Love_ Train?"

Leon started the music and Pete put his right hand on the headphones and another on the mic.

Pete: **People all over da world**

**Join hansh**

**It'sh called da ruv train**

**Ruv train**

**Let'sh shee...**

**All of yer bruthersh over in Africuh**

**Uhh...dat'sh right**

**Tell all dee, uhh...foeksh in Egypt and Ishlum too...**

**Pleashe don't mish da train at dee uh...stashun**

**'Caush if you mish it I feel shorry, shorry fore yooooouuuuu**

**OoOOoOooOhh!!!**

"That's enough" Leon interupted and cut the music off.

**Ooh yeah, makin' shum ruv**

**Shum ruv on da ruv train**

**People go head 'n' join yer hansh**

**Go head and hold 'em togettur**

**Right heresh on da ruv train**

**It'sh called da ruv train**

**Ruv train**

**You don't need no ticketsh**

**Makin' r-**

"WE'VE HEARD ENOUGH!!!!"

Pete stepped out of the recording studio and asked Leon how he did.

"Show, uh, you tink you can gimme a recerd deal?"

"Uhh...no," Leon said, "But we can let you perform at Sora's show tomorrow as an opening. Just write some original material, and if they like it...I'll help you produce an album."

"OoOooOOh! Oh boy! My life'sh dream'sh gunna come true!"

Pete went home that night and began writing a song. He wanted to blow Sora out of the water because Sora was always his rival, and when he got a record deal and became a famous singer, Pete vowed revenge because Sora ruined his dream. Pete stayed up for hours and hours writing his song.

"Let'sh shee here... Hansh in dee air, dat...dat rhymesh wit jusht don't care. Dish is pretty good! It'sh pretty good if ya ashk me!"

Pete picked up the phone and dialed Donald's number. The phone rang seven times, and he finally answered.

Donald answered in a quacking rage, "Do you have any idea what time it is?! It's two in the morning! What kind of moron-"

"Hey Donnerd, thish is Pete. You goin' to Shora'sh conshert tommorrow in, uhh...in Hollow Bashton, right?"

"Yes, Pete...Why...?" he sounded very uninterested.

"'Cause, uh...'cause I'm gonna be performin' as dee openin' act, and I wanted you, Goofy, Mickey, 'n' de udders ta come an' lishen to me shing."

"Okay, I'll be there..." Donald hung up the phone and went back to sleep.

Pete ran down the hallway in the castle, "Marifishent! Uhh...Marifishent!" He pounded his fists on her door. "I want you to hear me shing my shong and tell me what you tink!"

"_SHUT UP_!!!!"

Pete lay awake in his bed; he couldn't go to sleep because of his anticipation for the show tomorrow.

"Oooooh! I jusht can't wait!"

* * *

Pete woke up at around ten that morning and was feeling good. He went to the mirror in his bathroom to check himself out. 

"Oh yeah...you're a shexshy thing..."

The next thing Pete did was call up Cloud to see what he was doing today. Cloud answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Croud, it'sh Pete!"

"Oh God..."

"Whatt're ya doin' today? I was thinkin' maybe we could hang out before my big gig, maybe get a bite to eat?"

* * *

"Why'd you let him come along?" Tifa whispered to Cloud.

"I don't know... It'll be over soon."

Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Leon, Aerith, and Pete were all sitting at an outside table at a restaraunt. Pete tapped his fork on his glass and stood up.

"I would like to make an announshment," Pete began. "Let'sh shee...uh...Tonight I'm performin' at Sora's conshert tonight live! I'd really appreshiate it if you guys came and watched me shing the shong I wrote."

No one was listening, and Pete sat down. The waiter came to the table, and everyone made their orders.

"And what is your order?" he asked to Pete.

"Let's shee...lemme take a look at dish menu...I tink I got hankerin' for a grilled chicken shandwich!"

"What?"

"A grilled chicken shandwich."

"_What_?"

"A shandwich, I shaid! A shandwich!"

"...I'll just put you down for the afternoon special."

"Sho, uh...Tifa," Pete said. "Maybe tomorrow, shinsh I'm gunna be a famoush shinger 'nd all, you wanna go to a movie and then to a reshtaraunt, just da two of ush?"

She stared at him and then talked to the others again.

"Oh yesh. I'm totarry a radies' man..."

* * *

It was one hour before Pete's performance; he was in his bathroom getting ready, taking a shower, fixing his hair, and whatever else famous singers do. 

Pete spit out his mouthwash, "Oh yeah! My breath's gunna be fresh and clean for all da radiesh that's gunna wanna shmooch up on ol' Pete! Why, dat Shora's gunna be sho shorry he ruined my dream of becoming a great shinger! Nobody makesh a fool out of me! 'Cause I can do dat all by myshelf!"

Pete took the Subway to the Hollow Bastion stadium, and when he got there, it was already packed with people who wanted to see Sora sing. He had some trouble with the guards letting him in backstage so he had to get Leon to tell them he was the opening act.

It was time...time to RAWK!!!! Pete got on the stage and was greeted with a light applause.

"Is ev'rybody ready to rock?" he asked to the crowd.

They cheered.

"My name'sh Pete, and uhh...I'm dee openin' act...Sho here it goesh-"

Pete stepped up to the microphone, and the music started.

(To the tune of "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins)

Pete: **Ol' Pete's been tryin' sho much**

**Ta eat shum pashketti for lunch**

**I never can 'cause Marifishent**

**She'll kick me out if I don't pay da rent**

**I got a cravin'**

**For shum chicken wings mosht of da time**

**I would eraborate, but ol' Pete's all out of rhymes**

**Let'sh shee here...**

**Pete rules, I'm sho cool**

**I even pashed mosht of grade shchool**

**Pete's cool, Shora's not**

**Leave hish show once I'm done**

**I'm a lot cooler, yeah, definatery lotsh better den Shora**

"SORA! SORA! SORA!" they chanted. The crowd was becoming restless; they came to see Sora, not Pete. Sora walked out from backstage.

He took the mic out of Pete's hands, "No one wants to hear your voice, fat ass!"

The crowd laughed, and Pete became very embarrassed. He could feel tears building up.

"Nobody, and I do mean nobody, meshes wit da MIGHTYYYY Pete!" he said while shaking his fist in the air.

"What are you gonna do, _Mighty_ Pete?" he asked with obvious sarcasm.

Pete walked over to Sora and stuck him right in the eye.

"OooOOoOhh!! Heartless Squad, round up!" Two Shadows and a Soldier came out and started kicking Sora while he was down.

Kairi ran out from back stage, and Sora was so relieved to see her come and stick up for him. But she ran right past him to Pete. She wrapped her arms around Pete's and pressed her body against his.

"Kairi..." Sora said, out of breath from his beating; a Shadow then kicked him in the face. He had spent two whole games trying to rescue her.

"Hey Pete," she said, "How about we leave here and go back to your place, and you know?"

"Oh yeah, I get it. I'm totarry in the mood for shum shecksh."

"That's what I meant."

"Yeah, shecksh is cool wit me. Totarry cool. Shecksh is totarry...it'sh cool."

Maleficent was in her room devising a new sinister plan when she started to hear a squeaking noise. She paid no attention to it and went back to her scheming when a giant peice of plaster hit her head.

She got a broom and started beating it on the ceiling, "_Keep it down up there_!!!"

* * *

In the morning, Pete was making breakfast, and Maleficent walked into the kitchen. 

"Hey Marifishent," Pete greeted. "I shung my shong at Shora's conshert last night- it was a big hit!"

"May I inquire what it was that you were _doing_ last night, you bumbling idiot?" she asked. "It kept me from sketching my new master plan!"

Pete smiled, "I was totarry havin' shum shecksh. You should try it shum time."

* * *

If you got this far, would it kill ya to send in a review?!

Even if you didn't like it. But I totally LOLed.

I also use too many breaks.


End file.
